I write a lot about finding greater happiness in sobriety. And as my regular readers know, much of it is about my personal beliefs and the many things I’ve experienced in life. But what I haven’t written much about are the times when I thought about giving up and drinking again.
Not that I found it extremely difficult to remain sober mind you, I had support and help along the way. However, it wasn’t always easy. There were certain experiences where I asked myself why I was sober and trying to be a better person. And there was one time very early on in my sobriety when I almost said the hell with everything and got drunk. Fortunately, something I remembered reading in the AA literature popped into my mind and calmed me enough to rethink my anger filled plan—the alcoholic at certain times has no effective mental defense against the first drink. His defense must come from a Higher Power. Although there would be a few other occasions when I questioned my sobriety, I thankfully never came that close to drinking again.
Besides the support and help I mentioned, I also did things on my own to stay sober, and still do today. Sometimes this involves looking at old pictures of my wife and two children, both from my drinking days and my sobriety, or pictures of my grandchildren. And other times I read various cards I saved from my wife and kids. However, most times I listen to songs that never fail to remind me why I’m sober.
Below is one of those songs titled, I’m About To Come Alive, by Train. I didn’t even know it existed, but the first time I heard it I believed I was meant to. I wasn’t thinking about drinking that day. It just made me appreciate my wife more and inspired me to keep trying to be a good person.
It still does today.