“When I think back on my growth. Both personal and spiritual. One of the biggest turning points in my life was being able to say thank you to a compliment because I believed it”
“We should embrace the things that we’re good at and the goofy and dumb things we do. By doing so, we find balance in our lives. One that allows us to feel good about ourselves while remaining humble. We will become more self-confident and yet see the humor in what is called the human condition.”
I haven’t been blogging much lately. There’s a few reasons for it, of which I hope to write about soon. But what I’ve written here isn’t one of them. This post, like many of my previous ones, is meant to help myself and others feel better about life when things aren’t going as well as we like.
Although it’s political. (Some say politics have no place in the helping profession, and my blog has mostly been about helping others.) I needed to write this today. For some reason, after seeing a past article from the Washington Post about Donald Trump, it struck me as something that does fit in with my beliefs and some of the things that I’ve written about in the past.
Recovery for many is about being a good person. Some of my past posts have been about that. And even though this one isn’t about recovery from alcohol and substance use disorders. It is about trying to recover from something that has negatively affected a lot of people in this country and, sadly, will continue to do so.
I’ll let what I wrote below explain. Forgive me if it doesn’t seem spiritual. (Something else my blog is supposed to be about.) But as I said. It’s to help me feel better. I hope it does the same for others.
“Why are so many people Trump hires corrupt, incompetent and immoral?”
I have a better question.
“Why would you continue to support this man?”
Seriously! This country is certainly no better off since he took office. As a matter of fact, it’s worse in some ways.
The growing economy would have continued without him and not be in jeopardy of failing now because of his ineptness. All the helpful and needed regulations put in place by Obama would still be there benefiting us. Our relationships with other countries are certainly worse. I believe we would be more united than divided without him in office. Hate wouldn’t be so rampant. And there wouldn’t be criminal and Russian investigations going on that are slowly showing signs that Trump is everything I always thought him to be. (A lying, vile, narcissistic, sleazebag.)
I know, I know. Hillary had email problems and a sordid past. But I never said she was a wonderful person. I just believed that she had the knowledge and strength to run a country.
I’m sure some division would have taken place, like when the Republicans fought everything Obama did. But she had the tenacity and leadership to get things done. No golfing and bragging about false accomplishments.
The truth is that it’s sad that it came down to these two individuals as choices to run the country. I’m hoping that whoever runs against Trump in 2020, (providing he’s still in office) appeals to the majority of people, as someone who has integrity, morals and a belief that government should work for all the people.
Hope has been instrumental in helping me get through difficult times in my sobriety. I’m thinking it will also help me now.
“Although I can feel fearful when something’s out of my control. I’ve learned I can control my fears and eventually overcome them. Prayer, people, hope, and self-talk are the tools I use. And they have never let me down.”
Imagine if you can a story like this.
The person you married isn’t who you thought they were.
You were warned by friends and family not to marry them, but you did not heed their advice. You believed everything this person said and further believed your life would become better than it was after marrying them.
Then over a two-year period this person, who was married before, has brought up their ex more than a few times, and although they are considered a despicable human being by most people, your spouse has had nothing but nice things to say about them. In the meantime, your spouse has repeatedly put down your friends, many of who are good people. Said horrific things about minorities, and even mocked a handicap person. And, has acted in ways that even you have to admit are quite awful and bizarre, especially for a spouse.
Besides all of this. The person you somehow still love, decides to go see his ex, who he has seen before and always defends. And you look the other way, once again, even though this ex has been accused by your friends and family of affecting them and you in negative ways. You keep the faith, though. After all, this spouse has told you time and again about all the wonderful things they have done for you so far and what they promise to do for you in the future.
Now, however, your spouse is once again going to see his ex. He is still defending them. This time, though, it has become clear that they have harmed your friends and family, and you finally begin thinking something might be wrong here.
You begin to wise up and realize you cannot take it anymore. Not just the apparent love your spouse still has for their ex. But everything else that they have said and done.
You can now see there is something truly wrong with the person you married. You can finally see what friends and family have seen since the beginning. Your spouse is a lying, vile, narcissistic ass-wipe and cannot be trusted.
You want a divorce. But the only problem is that many lawyers and judges seem to like your spouse and have defended him on every occasion he has acted in ways unbefitting a loving, caring spouse.
You feel trapped and afraid. You’re thankful you don’t have children now. But sadly your friends and family do. And you fearfully ask yourself, “what now?”
I know this is only a story. But I’m sure that something like this it has happened at some level in people’s lives and it is quite scary to think about.
You want to hear something even scarier, though?
Imagine if this story was about a president we elected?
Until we all fully understand that it’s not just the current and previous administrations who are to blame for the growing economic inequality in America, but big corporations and their greed. We will never unite and prosper as a people. The demise of the Middle Class will continue. And the true culprits, specifically the Billionaire businessmen behind the real politics that go on unseen, will continue to make insanely huge profits.
It’s time to cry out for a more level playing field that allows all the hard-working people of this country to live a better and less worrisome life, instead of living pay check to pay check.
Some people don’t like using the word “sick” when describing someone with an addiction. I get it. Just like the words alcoholic and addict, saying someone is sick can add to the shame and stigma associated with addiction, and prevent a person from getting the help they need.
But was I sick? Yes.
Although I didn’t drink every day and I seemed to be doing well in life, I wasn’t. I had fears and insecurities, not of the normal variety, that made me emotionally sick.
As a result, I was overly jealous of people and an extremely jealous husband. I felt like I needed to prove myself at almost every turn—believing deep down that I didn’t stack up to others. And I tried to be something I wasn’t, often acting out in arrogant and egotistical ways, in an attempt to feel better about myself.
I was also spiritually sick.
I should have been a better person than I was. A better friend. A more loving husband. And certainly a more loving and caring father.
Not that I was a bad person. I tried not to do things that I knew I shouldn’t, and I actually did some good things in my drinking days. But I just couldn’t sustain a better way of living. Sooner or later my fears would overwhelm me. My insecurities would become too great. And I would turn to the only thing that I thought could help me with how I was feeling. Even when riddled with guilt, I could not stop drinking for a long period of time, and I would return to the behaviors that actually made me feel worse about myself.
Eventually I got help and began living a different way, but I was still emotionally and spiritually sick in the beginning. But as I remained sober, my brain healed. And as I kept trying to be a better person than I was before, I was no longer sick.
I had changed the things about myself that needed to be changed. The thoughts and behaviors that didn’t make me a bad person, but along with my drinking, kept me emotionally and spiritually “sick” and prevented me from becoming the person I always wanted to be.