Overcoming Obsessive Thinking

The word obsess comes from the Latin word obsidere, one meaning of which is “to besiege.” Being someone who has, at times, obsessed over something, I can say that if we’re not careful, thoughts can besiege our minds, take us out of the present moment, and rob us of any enjoyment we might otherwise experience. In my drinking days, I often obsessed about one thing or another, and depending on what it was, I could find myself filled with such emotions as resentment, anger, self-pity, or anxiety. This was always wasted time on my part; I never looked for solutions if there was a problem. And nothing I obsessed over was ever as bad as I originally thought it was. But mostly, I simply could not stop thinking about something once it became ingrained in my thought processes.

Fortunately, I learned how to turn these types of thoughts around, so to speak. Whatever it was I started to obsess about, with practice, I was able to keep it to a minimum and eventually stop thinking about it altogether. The practice I speak of was to literally redirect my thoughts to something else, something fun, or telling myself how pointless it was to keep thinking about it. And I often talked to someone about whatever I was obsessing over. It took time to break free of obsessive thinking, but it was never as bad as the days when all I could think about was getting drunk. That obsessiveness almost always led to the same conclusion: my mind besieged with worry, distress, and often hopelessness after a night out drinking.

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I Think I’m Correct About This

“There can be times in our recovery when we focus more on what we’re doing wrong than on what we’re doing right. While it’s certainly important to find and correct the things that made us unhappy in life and with ourselves. It’s equally important to see the good things we do. Eventually, as this process continues. We find less things that need correcting. More things to be happy about. And more reasons to love ourselves.”

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Where Did The Time Go?

Our time comes. And our time goes. For me, the last several years of my life seem to have gone by way too fast. That’s why when I come across certain things that bring back memories of when I was younger, it can make me feel sad. I loved the TV show The Munsters as a kid, but I had no idea who this woman was, other than an actress who played Lily Munster. She had a long and successful career before that role, and I think she is a very beautiful woman. She passed away over 10 years ago and I didn’t think much of it until seeing this. Time marches on with or without us. And I want friends and family to have fond memories of me when I’m gone. Feeling that my life is going by too quickly helps me behave in ways that I believe will do just that.

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I’m No Superman

I can’t imagine ever drinking again. I enjoy being sober and living a spiritual life. I’ve become a good person who loves themselves and others. And I’m happy with who I am. But let me make two things clear.

I’m no superhero when it comes to living a spiritual life. And it’s not always easy being me.

There are times when my thoughts become filled with anger about one thing or another, and a small resentment can crop up. I can be somewhat cynical when it comes to certain people—a few celebrities and politicians come to mind. And I’m a man who enjoys looking at woman, although I’m careful not to stare, especially when I’m with my wife. Oh yeah. I also drop the F-Bomb sometimes and say things I wish I hadn’t.

As far as why it’s not easy being me, well that’s a little more complicated.

You would think if I’m happy with myself and enjoy life, it only stands to reason that being who I am shouldn’t be hard. But sometimes it is. Sometimes, a sudden sadness comes over me, or I feel anxious without any real reason for it.

Now I know that may not seem like a big deal, but wait, there’s more.

I’ve gone to bed in a good mood already, only to awaken the next morning feeling down or actually fearful. Dreams are sometimes the culprit and these feelings usually go away quickly. But sometimes they linger and I have to fight mentally to feel better emotionally.

Science tells us that some people have lower levels of what I like to call the happy chemicals in our brains, which I’m sure I am one of. But that doesn’t help much when I’m feeling unhappy for no reason of my making.

Fortunately, I’ve come to realize that there are going to be times when I’m not as happy as I want to be and that the way I am feeling will pass. I just wish it was easier on some days is all.

In the end I do know that living a spiritual life, which doesn’t have to be anything more than trying to be a better person than we were before, helps us to love ourselves and to be happy with who we are. And that may well be another reason I have to fight to be happy.

Truth be told, I haven’t been trying as hard as I have in the past to improve on myself—correcting my negative thoughts and behaviors.

I may not be a superhero when it comes to living a spiritual life. And it’s not always easy being me. But I can’t think of a better way to live or a better person to be.

I just need to work harder at being the person I say I am.

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A Couple Of Reasons For Staying Together

My wife and I are not always a happy couple—we have our share of disagreements. But we have been a couple for over 38 years now. Through ups and downs. Through sad times and good times. Our relationship has endured.

Not a perfect one. But a loving one.

People who truly know us, know we don’t pretend to be a perfect couple. We exist as a couple for many reasons, with the love I mentioned being one of them. But we also love our children and grandchildren. And we have certainly learned to love ourselves.

It is only when we love ourselves and become happy with who we are that we stand a chance at having a relationship where we don’t settle and simply try to make the best out of it. (Sadly, some couples do.)

Now a few may think my wife and I pretend to be a happy couple—a perfect couple. But again, those who truly know us, know we are both far from perfect and don’t claim our relationship is. We’re just two people who refused to give up during times when it seemed like we should have.

Two people who faced fears and insecurities, both alone and together, who endured as a couple and learned the secret to having a long-lasting and mostly happy relationship.

Not a Perfect one. But a loving one.

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