Fears began in my childhood, grew in my teenage years, and stayed with me throughout my adult life. Thankfully, through the twelve and a half years I’ve been sober I have become better at understanding my fears and coping with them until I am able to overcome them. As far as any new fears I experience, I know they are really just old ones that have resurfaced. However, because I’m aware they’re old fears it’s easier for me to quickly move past them.
Really when I think about it, the only new fears I seem to experience anymore come from doubts I sometimes have. My biggest doubt created fear today is whether I will become successful in my endeavor to go out and help others at the level I want to.
Fortunately, as I said, I’ve learned how to cope with my fears, but there are days when I need help in overcoming them. On those days, I pray to whatever created life and the Universe to give me guidance and reassurance, and I thank it for everything in my life. Then despite my fears, I tell myself everything will be all right and go about my day waiting for the guidance and reassurance I need. I do this by looking for what some people call a sign. I began calling these signs “non coincidences” several years ago, and not only do they help me believe that I’m on the right track in life, but they also give me hope that there’s a God of some kind.
Sometimes this happens through a song I haven’t heard in a long while that holds some special meaning to me. Or a magazine article that I feel I was meant to read. And other times it happens through an informative TV show of some type. However, more often than not, these “non coincidences” come about through a chance meeting with someone who in conversation says something that gives me the guidance and reassurance I asked for.
Prayer, people, hope and self-talk have kept me sober and greatly contributed to the happiness I cherish so much today. Without these tools, I don’t know what I would have done when the doubts and fears I felt throughout my sobriety, especially early on, almost overcame me.
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