My Ego Is Just Fine Thank You

I enjoy helping others. It makes me feel good about myself, and gives me a sense of achievement.

The definitions listed below are why I think most people’s troubles come from insecurity, and not ego like many spiritual gurus state. The third definition of ego comes from insecurity. It is a false sense of ego used to overlook our fears and insecurities, and help us feel better about ourselves. I should know. I had a false ego all through my life—even into my early sobriety. It was in my sobriety, however, that I was able to become more self-confident and grow to love myself. I also found greater happiness in life. Especially after finally becoming happy with who I was.

It is those things that I want for others. It’s why I do what I do to help people. Not because of ego. And not because of insecurity. But because of who I’ve become.

ego: 1. A person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance. 2. The part of the mind that mediates between the conscious and the unconscious and is responsible for reality testing and a sense of personal identity. 3. An overly high opinion of oneself

insecurity: 1. Uncertainty or anxiety about oneself; lack of confidence.

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Does Your Ego Have It Right?

“I’ve heard it said that a lot of the emotional pain we experience in life is caused by having too much ego, but this isn’t always true.  Our egos are necessary to help us love ourselves and feel good about who we are.  Not loving ourselves and not feeling good about who we are can also cause us emotional pain.  But this is due to fear and insecurity, and not having enough ego.”

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A Better Definition Of Ego

One definition of ego is “the self, especially as distinct from the world and other selves.”  It seems a lot of people try to separate themselves from others today in an effort to be different.

Although I believe we are all one spiritually, I’m OK with being different. I know I am different from a lot of people you may meet, and fortunately, a lot different from who I was in my drinking days.

Today I try to help others feel the same kind of self-love I do. A love I never felt when drinking.

Another definition of ego is “an exaggerated sense of self-importance, or conceit.” Although this certainly seems to be the type of ego many people display today, it is really a “false sense of ego.” One that never truly helps a person feel better about themselves, but instead fuels their insecurities and turns others away. In that sense they have separated themselves. I had this type of ego in my drinking days, and it only caused me more of the emotional pain I often felt, and a sense of loneliness.

I know that some people need to feel different from others because it gives them a feeling of importance, and in some cases one of superiority. However, I also know that if someone has an “appropriate pride in themselves and self-esteem,” which is yet another definition of ego, they won’t need to feel better than others. Instead, they will want to be a better person than they were before.

Personal and spiritual growth can help us become a better person than we were before. And we quickly find the more we grow, the happier we become with who we are.

Maybe another definition of ego should be, “the self, especially as distinct from the world and other selves, but not from other spiritual beings.” In this way it wouldn’t matter so much how different or unique we are, as long as we truly love ourselves and try to help others love themselves too.

Especially those who feel different because of a deep emotional pain that keeps them in a self-imposed prison of loneliness.

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