Twas The Day After Christmas

In December of 2012, just one day after Christmas, my wife and I experienced an injustice that was quite hurtful and filled us with anger and resentment we sometimes still feel today. Actually, my wife was much more hurt by what happened than I was, because it involved two of her close family members. People she loves a lot. And people she never thought capable of causing such emotional pain.

I finally decided it was time to share this private experience with my readers. After all, writing openly about my life and how I use certain experiences to improve on myself is what I do, and if anything, this awful situation shows I have improved as a person. The same goes for my wife.

I won’t mentioned who the family members are, that’s never been my style, but I want to. I also want to lash out at one of them in particular, because it was them that caused most of the emotional pain we felt. However, I know it would not serve who I am today, nor would it fix anything. I also won’t go into depth about the incident. You would have had to have been there to fully understand how horrible this experience was and why I consider it a complete and utter betrayal of family values and friendship. All I will say is that this person’s actions did more than just hurt us. It separated people who were close to one another and inspired me to write this post.

You may already know how being wronged by someone, especially someone you love, can cut deep. And you may already know how hard it can be to move past the hurt and pain you experience. We can talk to someone about how we’re feeling and read things about forgiveness, but we soon find that “to forgive and forget” can be quite hard, especially if no apology is in the offing. Of course, you can’t expect someone to apologize if they don’t think they’ve done anything wrong, or in this case, won’t admit it. And when the person is still a part of other people’s lives that you love, the anger, resentment, and emotional pain continues to resurface. There is simply no closure, and no easy answer to our dilemma.

We should continue talking with someone who understands our situation though, and if religious or spiritual, praying doesn’t hurt. Both things have helped me and my wife over the last two years. The strong emotions we felt for many months afterwards slowly subsided and we eventually stopped thinking about the incident so much. However, the word injustice is still fresh in our minds, even when we consider the source of it.

One of them self-admittedly had a drinking problem when the incident occurred, and from what I understand still does. And their spouse could certainly be called a text-book enabler. But when my wife and I think about what we went through that morning just one day after Christmas—a time for family celebration and to show love for one another. We currently see no reason to forgive them, no matter what their emotional troubles may be.

We know we’re loving and caring people who most certainly did not deserve the unjust act we experienced, or the emotional wounds received unknowingly at the time.

Wounds that for me and my wife have healed somewhat. But may never fully heal for her.

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End Of Our Innocence?

One of my favorite past times is watching people at various places as they walk along going about their business. I enjoy seeing couples holding hands, people talking and laughing, and I especially enjoy watching families having fun together.

One of my favorite places to watch people is at an ocean front boardwalk near where my wife and I live. She also enjoys watching people, and just the other day we were there sitting on a bench across from an arcade where a fortune-telling machine sits outside; doing just that.

The machine actually reminds me of the one used in the 1988 Tom Hanks film Big. The movie is about a boy who uses a fortune-telling machine called Zoltar Speaks to make a wish that he was big. After becoming an adult, however, he’s still the same boy inside that he was before.

Anyway, as I sat there, I saw people walking along by themselves and in couples, but on this particular day families seemed more abundant. They came in all shapes and sizes, and some would stop and drop coins in the fortune-telling machine to see what it had to offer in the way of fun.

As I said, families are my favorite people to watch, but what I’m looking for in everyone is the part of them that helps me to love them. I call it their innocence, and as I sat there watching different families laugh and smile together at an amusement that by today’s standards is quite tame, I got what I was looking for. I’m not sure how innocent some of the family members truly were, but for the few minutes they stood in front of that fortune-telling machine, I couldn’t help but to love them.

It’s a much different world today than it was when the movie Big came out. At times people can seem immoral and even corrupt. But from what I saw in those families that day, it gives me hope that as a society we’re not at the end of our innocence just yet.

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