A Couple Of Reasons For Staying Together

My wife and I are not always a happy couple—we have our share of disagreements. But we have been a couple for over 38 years now. Through ups and downs. Through sad times and good times. Our relationship has endured.

Not a perfect one. But a loving one.

People who truly know us, know we don’t pretend to be a perfect couple. We exist as a couple for many reasons, with the love I mentioned being one of them. But we also love our children and grandchildren. And we have certainly learned to love ourselves.

It is only when we love ourselves and become happy with who we are that we stand a chance at having a relationship where we don’t settle and simply try to make the best out of it. (Sadly, some couples do.)

Now a few may think my wife and I pretend to be a happy couple—a perfect couple. But again, those who truly know us, know we are both far from perfect and don’t claim our relationship is. We’re just two people who refused to give up during times when it seemed like we should have.

Two people who faced fears and insecurities, both alone and together, who endured as a couple and learned the secret to having a long-lasting and mostly happy relationship.

Not a Perfect one. But a loving one.

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I Learned This By Myself

“Some people go through life believing a relationship will fulfill them. That all they need is to be with someone they love, who will love them in return, and they will finally be happy. I agree that a relationship is worth having. That to love someone and be loved back is a wonderful thing. However, it wasn’t until I learned to love myself that I became more fulfilled and happier in life. And it wasn’t until I learned to love myself unconditionally that I was able to love someone else the same way. It was then and only then that I stopped believing a relationship was what I needed to be happy. And learned how to have one.”

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I’ve Just Come To Realize Something

When we give our love and friendship to someone and receive little of the same in return, we can wonder if we’re doing something wrong or start believing they just don’t care that much about us. Either way, the lack of receiving something more has the power to hurt us and often does.

We can talk to them about it and hope the relationship improves, but sometimes it’s simply a case of expecting more out of someone than they’re capable of. It’s this reality that should prompt us to reevaluate the relationship and decide if an unequal friendship is worth having.

I know it can be hard to distance ourselves from people we love and I’m not suggesting we should give up easily on our relationships with them. But there needs to come a time when we realize we’re hurting ourselves more than they are, and love ourselves enough to end any emotional pain we feel.

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