A Better Definition Of Ego

One definition of ego is “the self, especially as distinct from the world and other selves.”  It seems a lot of people try to separate themselves from others today in an effort to be different.

Although I believe we are all one spiritually, I’m OK with being different. I know I am different from a lot of people you may meet, and fortunately, a lot different from who I was in my drinking days.

Today I try to help others feel the same kind of self-love I do. A love I never felt when drinking.

Another definition of ego is “an exaggerated sense of self-importance, or conceit.” Although this certainly seems to be the type of ego many people display today, it is really a “false sense of ego.” One that never truly helps a person feel better about themselves, but instead fuels their insecurities and turns others away. In that sense they have separated themselves. I had this type of ego in my drinking days, and it only caused me more of the emotional pain I often felt, and a sense of loneliness.

I know that some people need to feel different from others because it gives them a feeling of importance, and in some cases one of superiority. However, I also know that if someone has an “appropriate pride in themselves and self-esteem,” which is yet another definition of ego, they won’t need to feel better than others. Instead, they will want to be a better person than they were before.

Personal and spiritual growth can help us become a better person than we were before. And we quickly find the more we grow, the happier we become with who we are.

Maybe another definition of ego should be, “the self, especially as distinct from the world and other selves, but not from other spiritual beings.” In this way it wouldn’t matter so much how different or unique we are, as long as we truly love ourselves and try to help others love themselves too.

Especially those who feel different because of a deep emotional pain that keeps them in a self-imposed prison of loneliness.

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Feeling Like We’re Drifting Away

“Sometimes, for reasons within ourselves or not of our own making. We can feel like a piece of driftwood floating aimlessly about; being pulled in different directions. But with no real direction in life. However, it’s always good to remember in those times that driftwood is resilient – recovering readily from illness, depression, adversity, or the like; buoyant. And I may add. Very hard to sink.”
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Our True Self-Worth

Self-esteem is defined as — a confidence in ones own worth or abilities; self-respect.  I’ve found that practicing love, kindness, understanding, and tolerance towards others can help raise our self-esteem, but we also need to practice those things toward ourselves.

There will be times when we fail doing the things I mentioned; it can take time to believe in ourselves. However, if we keep trying to be a better person than we before, we cannot fail to become one.

We will know in our hearts that we’re a good person, and be able to forgive ourselves on the days when we’re not.

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It’s wonderful to finally feel good about yourself when for most of your life you lacked self-confidence, and at times, felt inferior to some people.  Although I tried to cover up my insecurities by pretending to be something I wasn’t and drinking, inside I knew the truth, and as a result I was never happy with who I was.

It took a lot of different experiences throughout my sobriety to achieve the level of confidence I have today, and although there are some situations in which my insecurities still surface, I am able to use the inner strength I’ve built to tell myself that everything will be all right. I also remind myself how it was actually unwanted and adverse circumstances that helped me become a stronger person in the first place.

So where did this self-confidence I’m talking about come from? Well first let me say that true self-confidence doesn’t come from worldly achievements. Although people try to use things like job titles, fame, and wealth to give them a sense of self-confidence and self-worth, many still remain insecure in their lives and some have glaring self-esteem issues.

On the other hand, when someone tries to practice a few spiritual principles like love, kindness, understanding, and tolerance toward others, they end up feeling a confidence and satisfaction in themselves that they never felt before. Even people who have made strides in personal growth can be happier in life by giving spirituality a try.

Spirituality doesn’t mean we have to believe in God and religion. However, although I often failed at it, as I continued to practice love, kindness, understanding, and tolerance, it helped fuel an ever-growing belief that something rather than nothing created life and the universe for a reason.

This simple and basic belief is the foundation for the spiritual and personal growth I still strive for today, and these two types of growth combined give me confidence and satisfaction in myself.  Today I don’t feel inferior to anyone, and I am finally happy with who I am.



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