“To all my gay Facebook friends. You know who you are. I am proud of this post. I may have lost a few Facebook friends because of what I write about and stand for. But I don’t care. Some people have a special place in my heart, and my gay friends are included. Read on and I think you’ll understand.” —Darryl Duke
The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines gay as being sexually attracted to someone who is the same-sex; of, relating to, or used by homosexuals. However, it also defines gay as being happy and excited; cheerful and lively. Please remember that last definition. I feel it’s an important part of this post, as you will hopefully soon agree.
A close friend of mine recently told me that it seems I write a lot of things about gay people on Facebook. They weren’t offended by it; in fact, just the day before they defensively asked why I was differentiating between gay people and straight people in response to something I put on Facebook about lesbians. That said, I guess I do post more than a few things about gay people on Facebook, but there’s a simple reason for it; I love them.
Anyway, saying I love gay people was included in my humorous post written as a quote, and not only was it responsible for my friend’s question, but it was the catalyst for what became a somewhat heated exchange between us. Ultimately, this experience led to what you’re reading now, including the quote I wrote.
“Most of you know I love gay people. I have friendships with gay men and woman. However, I must say that for some reason, lesbians are generally much louder than gay men at the beach. I’m not saying this is a bad thing. As I said, I love gay people. But sometimes it can be quite annoying.”
Several of my Facebook friends, both gay and straight, liked my post, and quite a few wrote a humorous comment in response. But because of the nature of my close friends question, I felt the need to respond, and told him I learned a long time ago that not all gay people like to be singled out, and I’m careful not to do it on a personal level. However, my reply apparently wasn’t good enough for him, because he asked me the same question again, in a way that smacked slightly of sarcasm, and that’s when my reply and the exchange that followed became less friendly.
I called him the next day and we talked about the whole thing much more calmly. He now understands a certain connection I feel with a lot of gay people, and why I post some of the things I do. I’ve actually talked about this connection with many members of this often misunderstood group of wonderful people, and I’ll share it with you now.
Real or perceived. When we feel repressed, put down, or singled out in a bad way, when we feel like we don’t fit in, and when we haven’t learned to love ourselves yet. Much unhappiness results, and it’s very hard to feel good about ourselves and believe we’re worthy of love. No matter what the reasons are for our unhealthy emotions, it takes some us a long time to love ourselves and be happy with who we are.
I’m not pretending to know the kind of emotional pain so many gay people have told me they’ve experienced in their life, but I can relate to the things I spoke of because of how I felt for many years. I should add here, though, that many of the gay people I know and have met, are happy, and I hope they’re also happy with themselves.
I eventually became happy with who I was, and as a result, I became happy and excited about life and quite cheerful and lively, most days. Call me gay because of this, I don’t care. I love gay people and I love myself.