Insecurities

It’s wonderful to finally feel good about yourself when for most of your life you lacked self-confidence, and at times, felt inferior to some people.  Although I tried to cover up my insecurities by pretending to be something I wasn’t and drinking, inside I knew the truth, and as a result I was never happy with who I was.

It took a lot of different experiences throughout my sobriety to achieve the level of confidence I have today, and although there are some situations in which my insecurities still surface, I am able to use the inner strength I’ve built to tell myself that everything will be all right. I also remind myself how it was actually unwanted and adverse circumstances that helped me become a stronger person in the first place.

So where did this self-confidence I’m talking about come from? Well first let me say that true self-confidence doesn’t come from worldly achievements. Although people try to use things like job titles, fame, and wealth to give them a sense of self-confidence and self-worth, many still remain insecure in their lives and some have glaring self-esteem issues.

On the other hand, when someone tries to practice a few spiritual principles like love, kindness, understanding, and tolerance toward others, they end up feeling a confidence and satisfaction in themselves that they never felt before. Even people who have made strides in personal growth can be happier in life by giving spirituality a try.

Spirituality doesn’t mean we have to believe in God and religion. However, although I often failed at it, as I continued to practice love, kindness, understanding, and tolerance, it helped fuel an ever-growing belief that something rather than nothing created life and the universe for a reason.

This simple and basic belief is the foundation for the spiritual and personal growth I still strive for today, and these two types of growth combined give me confidence and satisfaction in myself.  Today I don’t feel inferior to anyone, and I am finally happy with who I am.

 

 

Share This

Fears

Fears began in my childhood, grew in my teenage years, and stayed with me throughout my adult life. Thankfully, through the twelve and a half years I’ve been sober I have become better at understanding my fears and coping with them until I am able to overcome them.  As far as any new fears I experience, I know they are really just old ones that have resurfaced. However, because I’m aware they’re old fears it’s easier for me to quickly move past them.

Really when I think about it, the only new fears I seem to experience anymore come from doubts I sometimes have. My biggest doubt created fear today is whether I will become successful in my endeavor to go out and help others at the level I want to.

Fortunately, as I said, I’ve learned how to cope with my fears, but there are days when I need help in overcoming them. On those days, I pray to whatever created life and the Universe to give me guidance and reassurance, and I thank it for everything in my life. Then despite my fears, I tell myself everything will be all right and go about my day waiting for the guidance and reassurance I need.  I do this by looking for what some people call a sign. I began calling these signs “non coincidences” several years ago, and not only do they help me believe that I’m on the right track in life, but they also give me hope that there’s a God of some kind.

Sometimes this happens through a song I haven’t heard in a long while that holds some special meaning to me. Or a magazine article that I feel I was meant to read. And other times it happens through an informative TV show of some type. However, more often than not, these “non coincidences” come about through a chance meeting with someone who in conversation says something that gives me the guidance and reassurance I asked for.

Prayer, people, hope and self-talk have kept me sober and greatly contributed to the happiness I cherish so much today. Without these tools, I don’t know what I would have done when the doubts and fears I felt throughout my sobriety, especially early on, almost overcame me.

Share This