Fears

Fears began in my childhood, grew in my teenage years, and stayed with me throughout my adult life. Thankfully, through the twelve and a half years I’ve been sober I have become better at understanding my fears and coping with them until I am able to overcome them.  As far as any new fears I experience, I know they are really just old ones that have resurfaced. However, because I’m aware they’re old fears it’s easier for me to quickly move past them.

Really when I think about it, the only new fears I seem to experience anymore come from doubts I sometimes have. My biggest doubt created fear today is whether I will become successful in my endeavor to go out and help others at the level I want to.

Fortunately, as I said, I’ve learned how to cope with my fears, but there are days when I need help in overcoming them. On those days, I pray to whatever created life and the Universe to give me guidance and reassurance, and I thank it for everything in my life. Then despite my fears, I tell myself everything will be all right and go about my day waiting for the guidance and reassurance I need.  I do this by looking for what some people call a sign. I began calling these signs “non coincidences” several years ago, and not only do they help me believe that I’m on the right track in life, but they also give me hope that there’s a God of some kind.

Sometimes this happens through a song I haven’t heard in a long while that holds some special meaning to me. Or a magazine article that I feel I was meant to read. And other times it happens through an informative TV show of some type. However, more often than not, these “non coincidences” come about through a chance meeting with someone who in conversation says something that gives me the guidance and reassurance I asked for.

Prayer, people, hope and self-talk have kept me sober and greatly contributed to the happiness I cherish so much today. Without these tools, I don’t know what I would have done when the doubts and fears I felt throughout my sobriety, especially early on, almost overcame me.

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2 thoughts on “Fears

  1. I understand what you are saying about fears and doubts. Having a strong belief in a higher power can be another way of saying we have faith that things will be alright. We can also have faith in others to help us through our fears whether real or imagined. We ultimately have to have faith in ourselves to counter our doubts and move ahead past our fears to live our dreams.

    I also have had fears since my childhood and now it takes the form of anxiety. Somewhere along the line I had lost faith in everything, but I have always been a survivor. I’ve also experienced “non coincidences” and they can come in the time of need. They even take the form of a chance to laugh at ourselves because sometimes we need a nudge not to take ourselves so seriously all the time.

    Anyways, I enjoyed reading what you wrote about fear. Learning about how others deal with their fears can only help those of us still struggling.

  2. I appreciate your reply. I did have Alcoholics Anonymous and The Twelve Steps to help me with fears in my sobriety, but after several years I began to use other sources to help me. I like what you wrote here, and I get the feeling you have been through quite a lot in your life. It takes some us longer to become stronger, and there are many things that can help us a long the way. Sometimes just talking to other people can help alleviate some of our fears, or at least help us better understand them. I don’t believe you reading this post was a coincidence, and I thank you once a gain for commenting.

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