Some Of Us Have A Right To Be Angry

I have written things out of anger before on my blog, and this post is no exception. However, just like before, it’s not a seething or hate filled anger, but a passion filled one. The type of anger I wish more people would feel.

After hearing about yet another incident where an angry white police officer pulled over someone of color, I watched this video that was making the rounds. Much of what I saw angered me, and although seeing someone not be arrested, but accused of resisting arrest may seem laughable, the events that took place make me sad.

I don’t care what attitude the lady in the video had, she simply did not deserve the type of behavior displayed almost immediately by this police officer. And she certainly didn’t deserve the type of treatment she received for doing what, in my opinion, should be our right as an American citizen. At the very least she did nothing wrong but let out her frustration at being pulled over for moving out-of-the-way of a tailgating vehicle, without first signaling.

Write her a ticket and tell her to have a good day, but for the love of God, don’t antagonize an already frustrated person, and provoke a situation that will undoubtedly make the news.

Now I do believe there are a lot of people out there who, like me, don’t care what someone’s skin color is. But I will say that very few of my white friends have ever been pulled over for not using their turn signal, or anything really, and the ones that have been pulled over for some small violation never experienced anything close to what this person did. As a matter of fact, both my wife and daughter have been pulled over for speeding a few times, and I know they were both let go with just a warning at least once each. Maybe they smiled and didn’t react like this lady did, but then again, neither one of them have ever experienced what people of color often do in this country.

Again, there are people of all colors out there who don’t care about the color of someone else’s skin. I’ve met plenty of them and they all seemed like very nice people. I also believe most of our police officers don’t care what race someone is and do a fine job at protecting and serving everyone.

I just wish almost every incident we see like the one in this video didn’t always involve an angry cop, a person of color, and sadly, sometimes death.

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More Is Sometimes Less

“If anything sticks out to me as to how times have changed, it would have to be the extremes in people’s actions and behaviors today. We have more knowledge and education at our disposal now, than at any other time in history, and yet in some ways seem more uncivilized. More angry. And less loving and tolerant.”

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Twas The Day After Christmas

In December of 2012, just one day after Christmas, my wife and I experienced an injustice that was quite hurtful and filled us with anger and resentment we sometimes still feel today. Actually, my wife was much more hurt by what happened than I was, because it involved two of her close family members. People she loves a lot. And people she never thought capable of causing such emotional pain.

I finally decided it was time to share this private experience with my readers. After all, writing openly about my life and how I use certain experiences to improve on myself is what I do, and if anything, this awful situation shows I have improved as a person. The same goes for my wife.

I won’t mentioned who the family members are, that’s never been my style, but I want to. I also want to lash out at one of them in particular, because it was them that caused most of the emotional pain we felt. However, I know it would not serve who I am today, nor would it fix anything. I also won’t go into depth about the incident. You would have had to have been there to fully understand how horrible this experience was and why I consider it a complete and utter betrayal of family values and friendship. All I will say is that this person’s actions did more than just hurt us. It separated people who were close to one another and inspired me to write this post.

You may already know how being wronged by someone, especially someone you love, can cut deep. And you may already know how hard it can be to move past the hurt and pain you experience. We can talk to someone about how we’re feeling and read things about forgiveness, but we soon find that “to forgive and forget” can be quite hard, especially if no apology is in the offing. Of course, you can’t expect someone to apologize if they don’t think they’ve done anything wrong, or in this case, won’t admit it. And when the person is still a part of other people’s lives that you love, the anger, resentment, and emotional pain continues to resurface. There is simply no closure, and no easy answer to our dilemma.

We should continue talking with someone who understands our situation though, and if religious or spiritual, praying doesn’t hurt. Both things have helped me and my wife over the last two years. The strong emotions we felt for many months afterwards slowly subsided and we eventually stopped thinking about the incident so much. However, the word injustice is still fresh in our minds, even when we consider the source of it.

One of them self-admittedly had a drinking problem when the incident occurred, and from what I understand still does. And their spouse could certainly be called a text-book enabler. But when my wife and I think about what we went through that morning just one day after Christmas—a time for family celebration and to show love for one another. We currently see no reason to forgive them, no matter what their emotional troubles may be.

We know we’re loving and caring people who most certainly did not deserve the unjust act we experienced, or the emotional wounds received unknowingly at the time.

Wounds that for me and my wife have healed somewhat. But may never fully heal for her.

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I’m Certainly Not Blowing My Own Horn

I really do try to live a spiritual life, but I’m not perfect. There’s been occasions when I’ve acted in ways that weren’t very spiritual. One such time was more recent and happened while I was driving.

I was in my car at a red light and someone blew their horn only a second after the light turned green. When I looked in the rearview mirror, they were flailing their arms around and shouting what I can only guess was a profanity filled tirade of contempt for me because I hadn’t pulled out fast enough for them.

I’ve experienced these horn blowing incidents before, and even when slightly angered over it, I was still able to laugh it off and go on my way, however, this time was different. This time I was tired and simply not in the mood for yet another impatient display of unwarranted anger.

So after seeing the person act in such a ridiculous way to such a small infraction, I imitated their exaggerated arm flailing in an effort to show them how ridiculous it looked, and then proceeded to drive a little slower than I had to while doing a car dance.

I’m certainly not proud of this incident. Or for that matter, any time I’ve acted out in ways that I don’t like myself for. But on this particular day it felt good to act the way I did and was quite cathartic. Besides that, I do a pretty good job of being a spiritual person on most days, so I’m allowed not to be one once in a while.

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